Ok, J took 2 more (teacher assigned) online tests today. The reading test went ok. I just have to keep reminding her NOT to GUESS the answer and to look in the passage for it. She got 100% on that - with my constant reminders. Now, I did not give her any answers in any way and I saw she does great when taking the test at home. The math test on the other hand was probably the most agonizing thing I went through. It was the UNNECESSARY mistakes that drove me up the damn wall. One question asked how many minutes Johnny practiced the flute. So J follows the bar on the graph for the clarinet to find the answer. Then she misread several questions about money and a couple of word problems. I had to keep saying, Read It Again. My main concern is that she knows how to do the math but never seems to understand the question or read it correctly. How do I help her with this? She ended up with a 97% on the math - but I feel it was because I made her read the questions over and over again until she understood it. I even had to explain what they were asking a few times. No wonder she can't get higher than a 75% when she has to take these online tests in school. There's really no time to go back and check your answers - even though it's suggested - and I know she's way more distracted at school.
I am trying my best with her to keep her in this program. It really is an excellent program. It's not very difficult for her and the workload is very reasonable for an 8 year old. I just wish she had a little more interest. She really doesn't care much about doing the work. My mom said she was the same exact way and hated school from the beginning - to the point of puking in the street every morning. Mom's mom was a bit of a dim bulb and it would never occur to her to look into Mom's "problem". I, on the other hand, am making a point to get to the root of J's troubles and FIX THEM. I know I said I wasn't going to stress about her schoolwork or this program anymore - but it's hard not to want to see J succeed when I know she could excel if she actually gave a shit about it. She's so smart and capable of anything when she puts her mind to it. I'm actually pretty comfortable with the idea of homeschooling - except when it comes to telling other people about it. I haven't said anything to anyone about this idea, except for my husband, mom, and sister. All are very supportive of it and believe J would benefit greatly from it. So, what's with the doubts in my mind??
Ok, well I can't help what bothers me. I think I need to accept the fact that J might not be a good "fit" for this program, or any school so far. It's becoming clearer and clearer as the days go by. I am giving this a fair chance though, and I am going to wait until we just cannot go on anymore. J really does want to be homeschooled, though. She mentioned it again today in the car. She likes the whole idea of it - even the not-watching-tv part. I know we all would be a lot less stressed and impatient if she was homeschooled. I know that she will turn out amazing and have a better sense of self if she was homeschooled. And I know that she will be a happy, confident, self-directed leader if she was homeschooled. I wish I had the nerve to take her out now.